Need inspired? Depression?
Psalm 42:1-11 KJV
As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
 My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
 My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?
 When I remember these things , I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
 O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.
 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
 Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
 I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
 As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?
 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
CAUTION! BE PREPARED FOR THE WICKEDNESS YOU WILL SEE.
BEFORE WATCHING, please read this portion of scripture. It is where the Lord God takes Ezekiel into the places where many evil things are done in secret. (It was immediately what I thought of.) God gave mercy on us and give us boldness in the days ahead!)
8 And it came to pass in the sixth year, in the sixth month, in the fifth day of the month, as I sat in mine house, and the elders of Judah sat before me, that the hand of the Lord God fell there upon me. Then I beheld, and lo a likeness as the appearance of fire: from the appearance of his loins even downward, fire; and from his loins even upward, as the appearance of brightness, as the colour of amber. And he put forth the form of an hand, and took me by a lock of mine head; and the spirit lifted me up between the earth and the heaven, and brought me in the visions of God to Jerusalem, to the door of the inner gate that looketh toward the north; where was the seat of the image of jealousy, which provoketh to jealousy. And, behold, the glory of the God of Israel was there, according to the vision that I saw in the plain. Then said he unto me, Son of man, lift up thine eyes now the way toward the north. So I lifted up mine eyes the way toward the north, and behold northward at the gate of the altar this image of jealousy in the entry. He said furthermore unto me, Son of man, seest thou what they do? even the great abominations that the house of Israel committeth here, that I should go far off from my sanctuary? but turn thee yet again, and thou shalt see greater abominations. And he brought me to the door of the court; and when I looked, behold a hole in the wall. Then said he unto me, Son of man, dig now in the wall: and when I had digged in the wall, behold a door. And he said unto me, Go in, and behold the wicked abominations that they do here. So I went in and saw; and behold every form of creeping things, and abominable beasts, and all the idols of the house of Israel, pourtrayed upon the wall round about. And there stood before them seventy men of the ancients of the house of Israel, and in the midst of them stood Jaazaniah the son of Shaphan, with every man his censer in his hand; and a thick cloud of incense went up. Then said he unto me, Son of man, hast thou seen what the ancients of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the chambers of his imagery? for they say, The Lord seeth us not; the Lord hath forsaken the earth. He said also unto me, Turn thee yet again, and thou shalt see greater abominations that they do. Then he brought me to the door of the gate of the Lord’s house which was toward the north; and, behold, there sat women weeping for Tammuz. Then said he unto me, Hast thou seen this, O son of man? turn thee yet again, and thou shalt see greater abominations than these. And he brought me into the inner court of the Lord’s house, and, behold, at the door of the temple of the Lord, between the porch and the altar, were about five and twenty men, with their backs toward the temple of the Lord, and their faces toward the east; and they worshipped the sun toward the east. Then he said unto me, Hast thou seen this, O son of man? Is it a light thing to the house of Judah that they commit the abominations which they commit here? for they have filled the land with violence, and have returned to provoke me to anger: and, lo, they put the branch to their nose. Therefore will I also deal in fury: mine eye shall not spare, neither will I have pity: and though they cry in mine ears with a loud voice, yet will I not hear them.
Does anyone ever have this battle going on within yourself? You know, bad days at work, frustration. Toss in a sprinkle of hot sauce and a whole bagful of the insanity we keep watching daily and I begin to get a little distraught. I begin to feel great saddness. Not over leaving this mess of a place but for all those who are so lost and clueless. Then I get frustrated and mad and have a pity party. I have thoughts in my head like ‘what kind of Christian are you? Christians should be happy and joyous! Maybe you aren’t.’ I ran across these verses and realized that we do get down. 1St Peter 1:2-7 My focusbis on 6 and 7 here.
6..We greatly rejoice (about verse 5), though now for a SEASON, IF NEED BE, ye are in HEAVINESS through manifold temptations:
Of course then it goes on to say that the trial of our faith is…..
Trials are hard, tests are hard. They are normally stressful and often an internal struggle. Thank God for the hope that we have in Christ Jesus! Repent for my lousy attitude and pick myself up and get back in the race! After all, we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses , let us lay aside every weight , and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and run the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2-2…
Hallelujah and praise the Lord God and Amen!
Someone feel like they want to TESTIFY?
I can remember that day 25 years ago like it was yesterday. My memory of about a 45-minute time span appears in my mind as a video from another perspective. It is like it was filmed by someone who was not even there and I was nothing but an actor. I could see it all as though I was about 15 feet above the unfolding drama.
I have had many things in my life prior to this moment that were very despairing and although they had a great impact on my life, they each almost made my heart or my attitude harden. I used each thing that hurt me deeply to build a wall so that would not happen to me again! What I did not realize was that hardening of one’s heart does not make one stronger. My heart was deceiving me. I would rise up and say…never again.
This day was different. This moment in time felt as though it destroyed me. It felt like someone reached inside of me and turned me inside out!
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: 1Pe 1:7 KJV
Faith? I have to ask myself as I look back on that time. How much faith did I have? At the same time it was perfect timing for God to allow this.
Have you heard the saying “be careful what you ask for because you just might get it”?
It had only been maybe 4 or 5 weeks or so before, I had been up late and as I turned the channels on TV I stopped on a channel of a man preaching. I felt convicted deeper than in the past. I fell to my knees in front of the couch and prayed so hard. Tears streamed down my face and I said change me, change my life, whatever it takes. I want my life to be yours. I meant it. I had said this before and meant it before but it felt deeper this time.
I remember the very next day I went to the mailbox and there was a letter written to me from my husband. (Yes, we were still living together he was just always working.) You can imagine my puzzlement. Why would my husband have mailed me a letter? It was thick and certainly not a one pager. I remember going to my bedroom and sitting on the bed and opening this and began to read it. My husband had been what I now call the CON-MAN. He was an excellent liar! Not something one usually wants to list on a resume’. I always caught him in lies. I would question him several ways so as not to end up thinking I was making more of something than I should be. I would ask it in so many ways that it would be clear and he would only hang himself. So, this was literally a suicide letter. (or was it really?) He was working for an insurance company and he began to tell how he had been embezzling from it, he had been scamming the system.
He also went all the way back to the beginning when we met. He came clean with lies he had told me. Things he made up about his life before he met me. I suppose these things were supposed to make me fall for him more? Those things would not have changed that I fell for him. But, at that moment they changed everything. WOW, I did not even know this man. We had a son together. Yet EVERYTHING that I still had thought was true about him was ALSO A LIE. Who was this man I was married to?
I remember crying out to the Lord God, sort of tears and laughter. “What God? I said to change my life but what is this??? What on earth do I do with this?”
Shortly after my mother and father in law came to my door. They had also received a letter. His boss had received a letter. (Personally, I think it was one more con because he knew he was about to get busted and so he was going to play on the emotions of those closest to him in order to get the sympathy to get him out of the hot water he had created for himself. You see his boss was also very close friends of his mom and dad and that is how he got the job in the first place. So, a letter to him would make sense. He would only fire him and charges for embezzlement would not happen.)
That is not what happened on June 11th. That was a few weeks before. He was supposed to be going to counseling and our marriage was totally over. This was all just a prelude to June 11th.
June 11th. It was only myself and my two sons at home in our small apartment that morning. I had a weight lifting bench set up between the kitchen and the living room. The phone rang and my oldest son (from a previous marriage) answered the phone. He was 9 and his little brother was 3. My son told me it was grandma (my mom). I was living in Michigan and my parents lived in Arkansas where I was born and raised. I get on the phone and my mom tells me she has bad news. Your daddy died this morning. WHAT?
I dropped the phone to the floor. I fell to the floor and just kept crying and screaming NO…NO…NOOOO. It was loud. Phone still laying in the floor where I dropped it, I was just screaming and ran through the living room and into my bedroom and fell onto the bed and cried and screamed until I got it all out. Then I just stopped. It was not real. I will never see my daddy again? Not him, God, why not mom….not my dad. (mom and I had always had issues…mom and daughter issues). I got up and went back to the phone. She told me she would let me know about arrangements. My two little boys had just sat down on that weight bench. They were sitting there when I ran into the bedroom. I can see them from the memory of that moment. They had to have been scared. They knew something horrible had to have happened. They had never seen me react like that. They were afraid to move, to say a word.
What was God doing? I asked Him to take my life a few weeks before and my life seemed to spiral even more out of control.
So, what do the scriptures say before this one I put at the beginning of this blog about trials?
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 1Pe 1:3 KJV
To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, 1Pe 1:4 KJV
Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 1Pe 1:5 KJV
Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 1Pe 1:6 KJV
We see in verse 6 it says we BECAUSE OF verses 3-5 we will GREATLY REJOICE! BUT…now for a season (or a period of time…long or short), IF NEED BE, we will be in HEAVINESS (in the Greek means, sadness, sorrowfulness, distress, grieve).
Heaviness of what? Verse 6 says through manifold temptations. What does that mean?
Manifold – Of uncertain derivation; motley, that is, various in character: – divers, manifold. (Means many different; many different colors; many different things.)
Temptation- From G3985; a putting to proof (by experiment [of good], experience [of evil], solicitation, discipline or provocation); by implication adversity: – temptation,
So, we during this time before Jesus Christ returns for His children we have a big chance of being saddened and distressed by many different temptations or trials. Temptations are as stated above trial by putting to proof by experiment of good or experience of evil. Solicitation, discipline or provocation by implication adversity…temptation.
As I said at the beginning of this blog, I had taken bad experiences and built up a wall saying NEVER AGAIN. Never again will someone hurt me like this. Never again will I be taken advantage of. Never again will I love someone to that degree. Never again will I be walked out on but I will walk out first. NEVER AGAIN.
After my dad died I began to learn I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO TRUST AND LEAN ON GOD, JESUS CHRIST AS MY SAVIOUR. Faith would begin to grow. My life forever changed that day. It was a sad day but I would not change it for anything. I lost my daddy but I was truly beginning to be introduced to my eternal Father in Heaven!
Not sure what is wrong. Seems a little worse than normal. When I read the picture I posted I think people who have battled depression might actually be able to look back on a time when they were happy.
I read it and I immediately thought that I don’t remember when that might be. I remember when I was 11 and sitting on my bed in my room alone and thinking there was something wrong with me and I just wanted to sit in there all alone. I am 52 and I still feel like that most of the time.
Happy days? I have had them. One here, one there. Days I have spent crying or simply lonely even though people are around are far more easy to remember.
I am happier left to myself. Is that ok? It seems like the world tells you that you must be surrounded by others to really be happy. Then again, why listen to this world? I cut myself off from this world because I do not feel apart of this horrible and wicked place. I don’t see a future for myself. No family around. Most people my age are wrapped up in grandchildren. Mine live far away and don’t even know me with the exception of hoping for $$ from that lady who always sends it at my birthday and at Christmas.
I know…I know….don’t go quoting scripture. I won’t go and kill myself. I have hope in Jesus Christ. If I had no hope then I certainly would not still be here. I assure you it would be pointless. I have hope. I am currently having a really hard time showing that hope right now. That distresses me even more because I don’t want to disappoint God. I know this is not His desire for me. Yet, this world is sick and it sickens me. It vexes my soul to the core. Should I not be full of joy of the Lord?
I really don’t even know what to say.
Pray for me please.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Tell of His Wonderful Works!
1O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.
2Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him: talk ye of all his wondrous works.
3Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD.
4Seek the LORD, and his strength: seek his face evermore.
5 Remember his marvellous works that he hath done; his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth;
6O ye seed of Abraham his servant, ye children of Jacob his chosen.
7 He is the LORD our God: his judgments are in all the earth.
8He hath remembered his covenant for ever, the word which he commanded to a thousand generations.
9Which covenant he made with Abraham, and his oath unto Isaac;
10And confirmed the same unto Jacob for a law, and to Israel for an everlasting covenant:
11Saying, Unto thee will I give the land of Canaan, the lot of your inheritance:
12When they were but a few men in number; yea, very few, and strangers in it.
13When they went from one nation to another, from one kingdom to another people;
14He suffered no man to do them wrong: yea, he reproved kings for their sakes;
15Saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm.
16Moreover he called for a famine upon the land: he brake the whole staff of bread.
17He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant:
18Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron:
19Until the time that his word came: the word of the LORD tried him.
20The king sent and loosed him; even the ruler of the people, and let him go free.
21He made him lord of his house, and ruler of all his substance:
22To bind his princes at his pleasure; and teach his senators wisdom.
23Israel also came into Egypt; and Jacob sojourned in the land of Ham.
24And he increased his people greatly; and made them stronger than their enemies.
25He turned their heart to hate his people, to deal subtilly with his servants.
26He sent Moses his servant; and Aaron whom he had chosen.
27They shewed his signs among them, and wonders in the land of Ham.
28He sent darkness, and made it dark; and they rebelled not against his word.
29He turned their waters into blood, and slew their fish.
30Their land brought forth frogs in abundance, in the chambers of their kings.
31He spake, and there came divers sorts of flies, and lice in all their coasts.
32He gave them hail for rain, and flaming fire in their land.
33He smote their vines also and their fig trees; and brake the trees of their coasts.
34He spake, and the locusts came, and caterpillers, and that without number,
35And did eat up all the herbs in their land, and devoured the fruit of their ground.
36He smote also all the firstborn in their land, the chief of all their strength.
37 He brought them forth also with silver and gold: and there was not one feeble person among their tribes.
38Egypt was glad when they departed: for the fear of them fell upon them.
39 He spread a cloud for a covering; and fire to give light in the night.
40The people asked, and he brought quails, and satisfied them with the bread of heaven.
41 He opened the rock, and the waters gushed out; they ran in the dry places like a river.
42For he remembered his holy promise, and Abraham his servant.
43And he brought forth his people with joy, and his chosen with gladness:
44And gave them the lands of the heathen: and they inherited the labour of the people;
45That they might observe his statutes, and keep his laws. Praise ye the LORD.
There is but one gift that your child cannot outgrow. This is the One gift that will grow with them as they grow.
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.
We have a responsibility to pass along the truth of who God is to our children. This is a “pull out all the stops” message. Do whatever it takes so that your children know that the Lord is God and there is no other! Constantly tell stories and relate your children’s experiences with stories that tell of God’s greatness. Let them know that they are part of a grand design, and that they are not alone! Speak to them with love and mercy, showing a collision of discipline, correction, and wisdom. Live your live in such a way that the gospel is on display, that they would meet Jesus!
Verse/Commentary courtesy of ‘Verse-A-Day’ android app.
For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
Amazing love drives us toward a working faith in Christ. James 2:21-22 says, “Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.” (NIV) Abraham was willing to act according to his faith, and God responds to that and spares Isaac. God never intended to have Abraham kill Isaac, but He desired Abraham to live in an obedience driven by love. Our faith consists of both belief in God and right action in response to that belief.
Verse/Commentary courtesy of ‘Verse-A-Day’ android app.
Thank you Pastor JD Farag
Through hard times in my life I have learned this.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.☺
SO…giving thanks for EVERYTHING, in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. That is a hard concept. The first several times I was experiencing something seemingly bad BUT, chose to get on my knees and pray and thank the Lord for ‘this’ thing that was happening. I had to laugh when thanking Him for it. It sounded ludicrous. Because God knows our hearts I didn’t pretend I was thinking this was great. I talked to the Lord & would say that I thanked Him and trusted Him that it is for the best even if I couldn’t see it right then. I quoted His word back to Him.
I am to give thanks in ALL things…this means not JUST THE THINGS WE THINK ARE GREAT and make us happy. ALL things means all things.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. AND
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
All of these scriptures go hand in hand in my mind. Our faith is built not be having everything always working out just the way we think or want, easily. BUT Instead by having things that throw us a curve ball. Things that try our faith with trials and hardships. And EVEN THOUGH we go through the fire, we grow stronger in our faith when we thank Him and trust Him and keep walking with Him expecting the best.
When it is the hardest to do, I usually CRY exceedingly before the Lord as I am in real distress, but nevertheless will trust in Him.
Praise the Lord God!
1 Samuel 10:9
As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul’s heart, and all these signs were fulfilled that day.
When the prophet Samuel anoints Saul there are many things that he prophesies should happen to Saul in a very short time. All those signs come to pass. Today however, is all about the heart. The various translations offer new depth as we consider that it was God who changed Saul’s heart. Saul does not make himself what God requires, God makes Saul what is required. Likewise, God works the change in our hearts as we cry out to Him and seek Him. We do not change our own hearts, it is God who changes hearts.
Verse/Commentary courtesy of ‘Verse-A-Day’ android app.